I hate donuts. The moment I admitted this to the Delish staff, there was an audible gasp around the office and a few people texting each other, "Is she ok????" The thing is, I've hated donuts since I was born. My mom's a licensed baker, and I hate them. I used to be 205 pound, and I hated them. I'm a freaking editor at a food site and I hate them. Before you pass any more judgment than you already have, hear me out. This is my (takedown) story.
1
They're only good when they're piping hot.
Most of the time, your donut has been sitting in its little bin for hours (if not days, depending where you go) which means it's stale as heck. The only way a donut can even remotely be enjoyed is piping hot, glaze melting everywhere—and that's rarely the case.
2
They're WAY overhyped.
People LOVE to love donuts. Sorry, but loving donuts doesn't make you an interesting person. Those pictures of all of your donuts neatly placed in a box on Insta may be cute, but deep down you know that donuts truly are the Howie Dorough (the fifth guy in Backstreet Boys) of the dessert world.
3
Brownies and cookies are better.
There. Just gonna say it. Brownies are chocolatey and fudgy, while cookies are perfectly chewy and moist. Donuts on the other hand? They're sticky and stale. You know if you had to choose between the three, you'd never ever put donut as number one, let alone number two.
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4
The dough-to-icing ratio is always off.
There's almost always TOO MUCH dough. You need SO much icing just to get the right dough to icing bite that it almost makes picking the right donut a complete nightmare.
5
One donut has a quarter of all of the saturated fat you should have in a day.
DUH, donuts are bad for you. But do you know just how bad? An original Krispy Kreme donut has 11 grams of fat—5 of those being saturated—while a Dunkin' original donut has 6 gram of saturated fat (30 percent of your fat intake). Meanwhile, a typical chocolate chip cookie has 2.4 grams of saturated fat...so um...let's just agree that donuts are sugar AND fat bombs.
6
They don't even keep you full.
You have to eat three entire donuts just to feel remotely full. They're literal wastes of space inside your stomach.
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7
Donut puns are genuinely the worst part about donuts.
DONUT get me started on the donut puns out there. Working in the food world, I detest donut puns more than the actual donut itself. They're cheap, cheesy, and make everyone groan when they read your "Donut worry, be happy" caption.
8
Flavors have gotten completely OUT OF CONTROL.
Pickle donuts? Pulled pork donuts? Buffalo donuts? These are real flavors that exist in this universe—and they don't deserve to. It's like people know donuts are so boring and lame that they have to add crazy sh*t on top in hopes we won't all see what's truly lying beneath. But we know. We know.
